Two Years In and I’m Still Asking Myself, “What Am I Doing?”
Words from a mental health advocate and nonprofit founder
“Maybe starting an LLC would have been easier,” my complex mind whispers to me.
For more years than I can keep track of, I spent most of my office time entering bar inventory, managing payroll, ensuring orders were received, and recovering from the night’s drinking binge by downing Advil and a greasy burger. Myths say that grease helps the process. I often found myself questioning such history. Most importantly, this experience taught me nothing about starting a nonprofit.
The brilliance of my idea to start an organization made the most sense as my mind crafted this business plan during the many miles I hiked long before I filled out my paperwork to receive 501(c)(3) status. Step into nature, find peace in your surroundings, and allow yourself the opportunity to engage with your inner voice in a more constructive way. Recognize that you can find a path that facilitates the therapeutic process. Find your community, feel safe opening up, ask questions, and share answers based on your own experiences. Tie it all together to create an organization that shares these stories, with the hope that you inspire others to find their “hike.” Punch out for the day? Not an option…
Let’s be real… As a mental health advocate, starting an organization can truly put your own mental health through the grinder. What a paradox.
It’s been a year focused more on understanding what I did wrong than what I did right. This isn’t to say that the effort wasn’t there; it absolutely was. However, an essential aspect of achieving any real chance for success is recognizing what you don’t know. I’ve often found, when it comes to this business, that I don’t know much. I wish I could say I’m a quick learner, but I’m not. I wish I could say that things come easily to me and align with how my mind operates, but they don’t.
“However, an essential aspect of achieving any real chance for success is recognizing what you don’t know.”
Is there a difference between being stubborn and retreating a bit when feeling lost? Absolutely. What I’ve come to understand is that when you can’t do things on your own—when it feels like your business is caught in a tornado—you must do what makes the most sense. You need to surround yourself with people who have the expertise and understanding necessary to help realize your vision. Ask questions, take notes, become a student, and for the love of God, let them help.
“You need to surround yourself with people who have the expertise and understanding necessary to help realize your vision. Ask questions, take notes, become a student, and for the love of God, let them help.”
Acknowledge your weaknesses; it’s not rocket science to recognize them. The key is to find individuals who possess the strengths to complement your shortcomings—at least until you can learn to fill those gaps yourself. Building a solid team is essential, as their knowledge and skills can help turn your ideas into reality, guiding you toward the success you seek. Not to mention, they are better to have on to keep my anxiety at bay.
I’m glad to say that HTGH now has a small team that understands my vision and sees my mission as a unique way to bring awareness to mental health. They know how to build around my voice and, when the time comes, support me with the strength in my legs (yes, there are still some miles to hike) to generate the resources needed to establish a nonprofit that truly deserves its place in mental health advocacy.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you it’s not okay to dream big. At times, dreaming big is the only thing you have when everything around you seems to be heading in the wrong direction. These dreams can be a lifeline, guiding you through uncertainty and reminding you of the potential impact you can have. Embrace those aspirations, gather a supportive community, and take the steps necessary to transform your vision into reality.
“Don’t ever let anyone tell you it’s not okay to dream big. At times, dreaming big is the only thing you have when everything around you seems to be heading in the wrong direction.”
I don’t have children, but I imagine starting a business is not far off from that experience. Every day is new, and every day is challenging. You no longer live for yourself; you make decisions based on how they impact your business. Early on, much like a parent, you find yourself questioning whether you’re any good at this and wondering if you will fail. You relish in the victories and wilt in the “failures.”
I’m not a fan of the word "failure," because even in defeat, there’s something valuable to learn and apply down the line. That’s some advice for those of you who shy away from failure and don’t analyze the experience. Embrace it; it will benefit you in the long run.
Truth be told, when you start a business rooted in your passion and calling, you inevitably lose a bit of your identity. It’s a challenging sacrifice, but it’s one necessary to achieve that feeling of success. I often find myself asking, “If HTGH and all of my endeavors vanished in an instant, who am I? Who is Jesse without a story to tell about how HTGH came to be?”
““If HTGH and all of my endeavors vanished in an instant, who am I? Who is Jesse without a story to tell about how HTGH came to be?””
As I sit here typing this out, I can honestly say I don’t know. But that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make—for now. Perhaps down the road (or trail), when there are many more stories being told through HTGH beyond just my own, I will find the time to discover who I am.
This nonprofit is a reflection of me, and though I have long thought that I am this nonprofit, I’m increasingly realizing that this cannot be the case. This nonprofit needs to be us—a platform and mission with endless potential for growth in numbers. A community.
Community: Truly, this is what I’ve always wanted to foster with HTGH. No matter where my vision expands, the consistent dream has been to create a platform that shares thousands of different stories from many diverse individuals. People need a place where they feel safe and comfortable sharing difficult but essential narratives in our world today. HTGH will always strive to be that sanctuary—a space where vulnerability is welcomed, and every voice is valued.
“People need a place where they feel safe and comfortable sharing difficult but essential narratives in our world today. HTGH will always strive to be that sanctuary—a space where vulnerability is welcomed, and every voice is valued.”
This writing serves as a public service announcement about the direction we are headed. It’s not a rebranding or a shift in our mission; rather, it’s a move towards what HTGH has always strived to become—a place for those who have found their “hike” and are on a path to healing their mental health, a sanctuary of safety and support.
By providing this platform, we hope to empower individuals to share their experiences, fostering connection and understanding among those who might feel isolated in their struggles. Together, we can illuminate the path toward healing and resilience, proving that no one has to face their challenges alone.
Everyone, every business, every organization started somewhere—a dream, some small, some big. Maybe there’s too much space in this head of mine, which is why I lean towards the big. There seems to be plenty of room for it. As we grow, the first thing I want to convey to team members, contributors, sponsors, and supporters is this: we will always aim to grow bigger.
Why? Why settle for a satisfying ending? Because we are a community of mental health advocates, and there will never be enough need to be part of something—no matter how grand—that truly aims to make a difference for the better in this world. Together, we will keep pushing boundaries and striving for more, because the mission is ongoing and the need is endless!
“Together, we can illuminate the path toward healing and resilience, proving that no one has to face their challenges alone. ”
As we quickly approach 2025, our understanding of what needs to be done to succeed is evolving for the better every day. As the founder and spokesperson of HTGH, I am committed to improving myself as a public speaker, and we will actively seek more opportunities to represent this organization and share its mission.
We will continue to research mental health-driven programs throughout the country that could benefit from support and partnerships. There is so much more we can accomplish together than by trying to overcome the stigma of mental health in isolation. This collaborative spirit will always drive our vision for growth. As mentioned, community will remain a major component of our mission in all aspects of HTGH.
We are also excited to officially welcome community contributors to our platform. Our aim is to highlight written pieces, photographs, and social media features, alongside our ongoing #PortraitProject—an initiative we hope will grow to unimaginable numbers. We seek diverse voices that represent unique perspectives on what mental health means to each individual.
Even more thrilling is that we will begin filming our first HTGH documentary in the fall of 2025—not a film about "me," but a story about "us." This documentary will be filmed and co-produced by Andy Laub, the acclaimed two-time Emmy-nominated filmmaker. It will be a human-interest documentary that follows four hikers as they traverse the Lowest to Highest Trail—a journey from the Badwater Basin in Death Valley, CA (279 feet below sea level) to the summit of Mount Whitney (14,505 feet).
This trek serves as a powerful metaphor for the mental health journeys of individuals whose lives have been positively transformed through their connection to nature. The film will provide an in-depth look at these hikers’ stories, embodying HTGH’s mission and serving as a catalyst for the continued growth and expansion of our community.
We move onward and upward. We climb and challenge ourselves. We strive to grow and make a lasting mark. And, most importantly…
